How to Know Your Co-Worker, Family Member or Friend is Jealous of You

By Contributor; Updated July 05, 2017
...
Jupiterimages/liquidlibrary/Getty Images

Do you get the feeling that your co-worker, family member or friend is being insincere about the way they feel about you? Your suspicions may be correct. Chances are he or she may be jealous of you, but how do you know?

Observe the way these people behave around you.

For co-workers notice how they hand you paperwork, share a workspace or tell a story about someone or something in front of you to another person it may be in a nonchalant almost negative sort of way. For family members notice how they tease and nit-pick about the way you look, talk, dress, shop or spend money (they know they don't have.) They are extra critical when they shouldn't be. They will find fault with you about almost anything and discuss it with another family member. As for friends, they do the same and sometimes resent when you call or come around them. They usually find a way to stay busy if there are plans to get together. The very idea they have to look at you or what you have bothers them, so rather then have to deal with their feelings, they try to avoid you or get what they can out of you.

Notice how your family, friends and co-workers look at you when they think you aren't paying them any attention. Usually their nice smile is quickly followed with a frown and a look from top to bottom and back up again especially if you have a better physique or wardrobe then they.

For co-workers pay careful attention to the eye contact they give you while a manager is praising you.

With all individuals, take "I'm just kidding" jokes seriously.

For those really good actors, find ways to compliment them and watch their reaction. Jealous people don't handle compliments very well. They either look uncomfortable or feel guilty because they know how they have been behaving toward you or they are overjoyed and are ready to brag about themselves hoping that you will say things like, "I wish I had that...I always wanted that..." When they hear you speak like that it makes them feel like, "Wow I finally have one up on them!"

Avoid participating in negative discussions to get them to like you such as bad mouthing others, buying them gifts or spending time with them. Their negativity will eventually where off on you.

Listen to how they explain a situation involving you. For those co-workers who are jealous, they will often blame you even when there is no need to or tell lies.

In the workplace, look at the way you arrange things at your desk when you first arrive, after you come from lunch, and when you leave the office. Sometimes jealous people want to learn more about you so they will go through your things to find flaws, weaknesses or things they can use against you. Family and friends will do the same if they can get to places in your home that you would consider off limits. Be careful trusting them around your partner too! Some will befriend him or her just so that they can make you jealous.

There are usually others who have had bad experiences with this jealous person. Take mental notes when someone warns you about him or her.

Stop whatever you are doing when you hear your jealous co-worker, family member or friend behaving in a way to discredit you, damage your reputation or cause ill feelings between you and others. Confronting them on their jealousy in a way that makes them feel small will alert those around them to watch out. A jealous person hates to be exposed!

Once you have exposed them, be prepared for backlash. Keep them away from your home and away from your family. Alert those closest to you about anything they have done that you consider nasty, disrespectful or outright mean! When handling issues with a jealous co-worker, be sure to alert another party about your experience, human resources may be able to help you with any issues that you may be facing. Worse case scenario, request a transfer or start looking for another job.

Tip

When dealing with co-workers, make plans to do other things during your lunch such as walking, shopping, reading a book, or meeting a friend so that your not sharing in his or her company. Keep ideas to yourself and only share them with management. When handling a jealous family member or friend, confront them by asking them a question, "What is it about me that bothers you?" Allow them to speak, meanwhile in your mind take notes of everything that they say and remember it is these things that they are jealous of and that is why you will have to use extra precautions to keep them at a distance.

Warning

Jealous people have been known to devise plans to cause problems for you once they are exposed. Always protect yourself by having conversations with them where others are present, write email or record conversations. Don't share password information, keys to your belongings or anything that they could obtain and then use against you later. When it comes to family members and friends, they will gossip. Some will create lies when they can't find any fault with you.

About the Author

This article was written by the CareerTrend team, copy edited and fact checked through a multi-point auditing system, in efforts to ensure our readers only receive the best information. To submit your questions or ideas, or to simply learn more about CareerTrend, contact us.