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I'm Angry & Bitter Towards My Employer, How Do I Cope?
Whether you've had a handful of bad encounters or your personalities simply clash, feeling angry and bitter toward your employer can make going to work a dreadful experience. It's difficult to set your personal feelings aside so you can concentrate on your daily duties, and your emotions are probably impacting your job performance. Coping with your resentment is essential if you want to excel in your career.
Evaluate the Situation
Make a list of the things you dislike about your boss and job, as well as a list of the things you enjoy or even admire. For example, you might feel angry with your boss because he's spoken down to you in the past, but you might admire his drive and management skills. You might also enjoy the overall atmosphere in your company, or the tasks you're assigned on a regular basis. Separate your list into pros and cons to give yourself an overall picture. You might find that the pros outweigh the negative feelings you have for your boss, and focusing on the positive can help you cope with your emotions. In the event the cons outweigh the pros, your list could serve as motivation to find ways to improve your work situation.
Arrange a Meeting
Sometimes it's best to simply clear the air between you and your boss, especially if you know she's aware of the tension between you. Arrange a private, in-person meeting to discuss your situation. If your feelings of bitterness stem from being overworked and you feel as though you're being singled out from your peers to carry the extra load, address this and explain the stress it's causing you. If your feelings are the result of hostility and bad experiences with your boss, tell her you think you started off on the wrong foot and would like the opportunity to set your differences aside and start over. Conduct yourself with professionalism and respect during this meeting. Your boss is more likely to listen, and you're more likely to pave the way toward a positive relationship in the future, if you keep the conversation civil.
Seek Positive Reinforcement
It can be discouraging when your boss doesn't acknowledge or appreciate your hard work. You might find that obtaining positive reinforcement from other important people in your life can help you cope with your feelings regarding your employer. Venting to your friends and family can help you not only blow off some steam, but their responses can help reassure you of your worth and value. When you feel as though you have a purpose in other aspects of your life, your negative feelings regarding your boss and work may be diminished.
Unwind Outside Work
When you leave work to head home each night, leave all thoughts of your boss behind as well. Spend your time at home unwinding and participating in things you enjoy rather than dwelling on negativity. Take your kids to the park, go out with your spouse, take up a sport or volunteer in your community. All of these actions will serve as a distraction that helps you cope with your anger and bitterness while helping you feel fulfilled in your life as a whole. When you're at work and dealing with your boss and emotions face-to-face, you'll feel better knowing you have positive experiences to look forward to as soon as your work is done for the day.
If all attempts to cope with your situation have proven fruitless, it might be best to negotiate a switch in your company so you no longer have to deal with your current boss on a daily basis. Request a transfer to a different department or change positions so that you work with a new supervisor. Before asking for a transfer, create a list of reasons you would be a better asset to the new department than your current one, or why you would perform better in a new job than you do in your current position. This will put you in a better position to negotiate a switch. It is also more professional than admitting you want to leave because you dislike your current boss.
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